I'm at a point where I just don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I need You. I need You in my life now more than ever. I need you to be my strength because I am so weak. The things of this world just seem so great. But, God, I know deep down inside that they aren't. So I need You to be my strength so that I do the right things. God, I need discernment. I need to know what I need to do in these situations. Because I want to do one thing when everyone around me, all the people I look up to and respect, are telling me to do something different. I'm so torn God. So I need wisdom. I need someone that will sway me one way or another. Because God this is so hard. It's so hard to not talk to someone when they make you feel the way they do. It's hard to not talk to someone I love talking to and getting to know. But I feel like I'm getting too attached. Where I'm constantly looking online to see if Matthew is on or not. And I know it's not good, but I keep doing it anyway. I love his company. I love the way he makes me feel when he calls me babe and tells me that I'm beautiful. But I know that these things aren't ok right now because we aren't dating. So I've talked to him and he says he'll stop, but he keeps doing it. And that worries me. What if later on he says he'll stop or he won't do something, but does it anyway. And this whole long distance thing, I'm just not sure about it. So God, I need you to be my strength in this situation because I can't do anything without you. It's just so hard for me to just talk to him. To just be friends with him and not think anything more of it. It's too hard to not think about us meeting and dating. Because it's what I want. But I'm scared because it hasn't even been 2 weeks. And he lives in North Carolina. God this whole thing is just confusing. So I just place it in Your hands God. I ask you to take it away from me, because I feel like this burden is too heavy for me to carry. So God, I pray that this wouldn't be something that is constantly on my mind. That I wouldn't be worried about it. That it wouldn't distract me from my relationship with you, or with my friends and family or distract me from my school work.
So once again, God won't you just be my strength. I know that with You at my side, I can get through this. I know that in the end, I will make the right decision because I am seeking Godly council and not just being an idiot about it. So I pray that you would take care of this situation and take it out of my hands God. I love you so much.
Amen.
